Well apparently he's into motor boating.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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