Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my shit smells like andre
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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