Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
