he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
