oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
