the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
