I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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