if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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