An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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