Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
