i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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