Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Vodka?
Forever.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
