There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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