Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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