Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
