i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
