I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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