At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
