there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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