Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
