its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
