Nicole vs. Life
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
