so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
