Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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