I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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