Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Already got asked if we're dating
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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