still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
