Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
