it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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