Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
