Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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