Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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