found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
