Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
