There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
