Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
