I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you would pick up someone in the library
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
