I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
