whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
