why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
