Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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