I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
