His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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