it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
