i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
