She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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