I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My life is pants optional.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
