Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
