After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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