he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
