At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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