The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
